Me, Myself and Literature

     Since I learned to read and write when I was 4 years old, people would think that starting school was not a big deal for me. I thought that, too. But when children in my class saw that I knew something that they didn't, they acted cold and reserved towards me. The fact that my teacher yelled at me every time I used my knowledge in class, didn't help either. After a while, I was convinced that I was a bad child, and I wanted to give up on learning because I thought that if I showed that I didn't know what other children didn't, they would accept me. Fortunately for me, I decided to tell my parents what I planned to do and what I had to put up with in school. And then, they helped me realize that if learning and reading made me happy, I should do it, regardless what anyone said. That was the day when my dad gave my my first book, Anthology of Epic Folk Tales.

     With that book, I discovered a completely new world, where magic existed. I learned about courage, friendship, love, unselfishness, and started to differentiate good from evil. I loved these tales so much, that not even my teacher could discourage me. Oh, and she gave her best to do so. But the day when I felt that I was worth something, that I was better than her, was the day when she gave us an assignment to write about our favorite folk story. I wrote about my favorite story, Petar bega od smrti, and she accused me of inventing the story myself and when she was about to fail me I took the book out of  my bag, and showed her that I wasn't lying. Knowing that even she who was our teacher didn't know something I did, made me feel so motivated to keep reading. And I did.

     

     Next book that meant a lot to me was Jonathan Livingston the Seagull by Richard Bach. When I finished it for the first time, I wasn't really sure that I understood it right. Was it really possible to do what you want to do if you believe you can, and keep trying? After reading it over and over again I knew that was true. Freedom was all that mattered. And believing in yourself. And I believed with all my power. Life became even better then.

     When I was a little older I went to the library for the first time, and the first book I took was 20000 leagues under the sea by Jules Verne. Even now, after all this time and after all those books I read, this is still my favorite book. It moved me so much. It made me cry. And what's most important, it made me write myself. Namely, I was so disturbed by the ending that I started writing different ends, different last chapters, the way I wanted the book to end. And I liked it. Soon after I wasn't satisfied with just changing something somebody else wrote. I started writing my own stories, and eventually, my own novel. Even though I never let anyone read what I wrote, I felt accomplished. I also set a new goal for myself - reading all the books that Jules Verne wrote. Surprisingly, when I reached it I was a bit sad. But not for long because I got new books to read, Skellig by David Almond and Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve.

     Skellig introduced me to the great number of ways I could use figures of speech, and it made me open more, show my gentle side. Until then I was... well... afraid of people. And after reading this book, I just wasn't anymore. As far as Mortal Engines is concerned... thank you Philip Reeve! I entered my puberty (I was really late) around that time and of course, I considered myself to be the ugliest living thing on Earth, which stopped me from doing a lot of amusing activities. After I had read this book I felt good in my own skin. I was so happy.

     When I went to high school, I showed interest in poetry and my parents gave me works of Branko Miljkovic and Charles Baudelaire translated by Kolja Micevic. I completely found myself in their poems. I didn't find the stories I wrote so fulfilling anymore so I concentrated on writing and translating poems. Soon, I started doing that for my school newspapers.

     There were a lot of books I found amusing, like Song of Ice and Fire by George Martin, Books of Blood by Clive Barker, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling and many others, but the last, should I say, educational one was Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

     My whole life I've been learning from the books I read. They were my guides, my 'other' parents sometimes, and they had a considerable share in forming my personality, my likes and dislikes. It is really sad that kids nowadays don't read as much as (I think) my generation did. Books can be real best friends. I consider myself to be literate, not just because I like to read, but because I can feel what I read and live my literacy the way only I can understand. My way. And that I see as a gift.